Why was I asked if I “hate Hindi”?

There is renewed brouhaha in the past few days on the topic of a unifying language for India, and whether Hindi is de facto, if not de jure, the national language. And as always, we have all sorts of voices adding to this cacophony. The usual suspects from either end of the spectrum (from “those who refuse to speak Hindi should be treated as foreigners” to “Hindi is a parvenu with a shallower history than almost any other Indian language”), and everything in between are out for their periodic airing under the Sun.

First Brush with THE Power Above

It's nearly 25 years to the day since my first "brush" with the great power above that doesn't lend itself to a logical deconstruction.

Scene: Interview for admission to the B.Sc. Chemistry course at the St Stephen's College, Delhi in June 1990.

After I had walked in and the initial pleasantries had been done with, Prof S.V. Eswaran (the then Head of the Department of Chemistry at the college) looked me in the eye and said:

"According to atomic orbital theory, Oxygen should be diamagmetic. However, experiments prove that Oxygen is paramagnetic. Please explain."

Heaven & Hell Redefined

I remember reading somewhere (possibly in RD) that heaven was living in Indonesia at American rates of pay, with an Indian wife and eating Chinese food. Hell, on the other hand, was living in China at Indian rates of pay, with an American wife and eating Indonesian food!

At the Diwan-e-khaas (the Hall of Special Occasions) at the Red Fort in Delhi, there is an inscription that reads...

Agar firdaus bur-rooe zameen ast, Hameen ast, hameen ast O hameen ast!

If there is a heaven on the face of the Earth, it is here, it is here, it is here!

Concentric Circles - The canard of relationship equivalences

My mother is a big one for drawing concentric circles in her relationships. Confused? Well, what I mean is, to her, an aunt's-motherinlaw's-sister (AMiLS) has the same value as a relative as say an uncle's-fatherinlaw's-brother (UFiLB), because they are equidistant in relationship terms. No matter that the AMiLS is an angel in human form, ever ready to drop everything to come running to help my mother when she needs it and that the UFilB is verily an avatara of Mephistopheles!

She confuses equidistance for equivalence....

Brilliant sher that I heard

Bas ek ullu bhi kaafi thaa

Barbaad gulistaan karne ko

Har shaakh pey ullu baithaa hai

Anjaam-e-gulistaan kyaa hogaa?!?

Is Ambition Religious?

“Karmanyevadhikaraste Maa Phaleshu Kadachana” – “Go about your work and do not worry about the results” – a line said to be the essence of Hindu philosophy. Also, unfortunately, the most misinterpreted verse of its most misinterpreted book. As author R.K. Narayan has said about the Bhagavad Gita in his first book Swami & Friends “This generous piece of writing extends itself to any interpretation and in Ebenezar’s (The school scripture master) hands, it served as a tool against Hinduism.”

Marriages - An Arrangement of Love

The evergreen conundrum…. what came first (No, no! This is not about poultry or ova)…. Marriage or Love? Or does there even exist a chronological correlation between these two sides of the coin of partnership?

A Random Selection

"Sir, your bags have been selected for a random security screening"

"Sir, could you please step to this side? You have been selected for a random security check prior to boarding"

Columbus Inverted

In the latter half of the 15th century, India was the land of dreams for European merchants. Its spice in particular was worth more than its weight in gold and the Arabs controlled the land route for the transportation of the spice from its Indian origins to the tables of Europe. The Europeans needed a sea route to India to break this stranglehold of the Arabs.